There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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