If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
