When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
