Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
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Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
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My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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