Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
