Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
