i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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