Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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