i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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