If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
