Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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