I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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