whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
