literally had 100 drinks last night.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
