Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
