It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
