We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
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Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
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Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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