So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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