saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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