You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
