Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
