you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
