I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
