she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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