Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize