we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
