yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
