I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
