when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
