And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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