Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
