My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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