No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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