no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
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when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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