You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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