so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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