Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
