wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
