no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize