i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
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I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
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Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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