stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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