I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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