evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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