remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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