Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
