im about as happy as oj after his trial
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
