Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
