okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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