I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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