I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I AM VODKA MAN
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
