Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
