I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
