Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
