make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
