you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
