I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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