I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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